| She's a triumph of Self-Delusion. |
Monday
July 21st, 2025 at 12:50pm |
the art and life [%90] are public - the feelings [%10] are not.
so.
a). add me.
b). comment. mention with why you added me & why you think i should add you back. :)
COOL BEANS.
*note : if you add me and we don't talk , i'll unadd you , simple as that .
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Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger |
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| one day I decided to live without feelings |
Thursday
January 28th, 2010 at 7:28pm |
( and it's easier to breathe now )
I'm just finishing up exams right now, but I don't feel relieved at all.
I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be.
I accomplished SOMETHING, but not to the extent I wanted to.
I can't make everyone happy, and that's something I really struggle with.
Everyone wants something different from me, all the time.
They say,
"Angelina, in the end, what matters is how you feel about yourself. Do what you want to do."
But no matter the decision I make, I can't feel content with it if I'm letting anyone down.
A lot of the time, I feel frustrated because I can't control everything.
I can't say, 'Yes, I'll go to school three provinces away, because I know we'll stay together.'
Even if that's the way you feel . . . you can't control things.
You can't control someone else. You don't know what's going to happen.
And that's what scares me the most. The frailness of human bonds.
"What's so great about being a grown-up anyway? So I can turn out like you?"
"You're scared."
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| i ran outside, right into you, and instantly you said you knew |
Wednesday
January 6th, 2010 at 6:37pm |
( and instantly, you said you knew that you were the only one i'd ever need to love )
It never really did snow.
We've had sprinklings and small flurries,
but somehow we've managed to miss every single storm.
An hour away they have three feet, and yet all we have here is frozen grass.
To me, this is more depressing than anything else that we've done without.
I don't really make New Years Resolutions, because I break them anyways.
But I intend to be successful this year, as I always do.
I've been working a lot this past month, because the holidays.
Most of these pictures are from parties and events like that.
School and plays have been keeping me very busy, as does lethargy and laziness.
I don't know. I'm still learning, to listen better, and to care more.
I guess people look at me and think,
'It must be easy for her.'
It's not easy for any of us to forget the past, and to let go of grudges and bitterness.
My heart is so full of resentment that it begs to be empty.
But we have to keep on painting, and loving, and bedazzling everything we get our hands on.
Because this standard is important, and sitting never resulted in much.
Ask me or tell me anything, at my formspring.
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Wednesday
December 2nd, 2009 at 5:13pm |
( helplessness is the last thing i am looking for )
A few weeks ago I was cast as the lead role for our school’s Sears production. There are high expectations, as last year our school won and moved on to Regionals.
Truthfully, I originally auditioned as kind of a joke. I was persuaded to do so by a few people, so I thought, why not?
I didn’t actually expect to get any role, let alone the lead.
And often times, at practices, I feel out of place.
The others in the production have been involved for years, and are fairly close-knit.
Half of the time I’m happy to be there, the other half I wish I was curled up in bed with Captain, knitting and painting.
The pace of my life slowly quickened, so slowly I barely noticed it until it was too late to back out of anything.
I have a constant longing for sleep and cappuccinos and gingerbread cookies.
I feel rushed and tired all of the time.
Don’t misunderstand me though, most of the time I’m glad of it.
But what I’m wishing for is that first snowfall .
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| how could a night so frozen be so scalding hot; how can a morning this mild be so raw |
Saturday
November 28th, 2009 at 5:39pm |
( how did I get here, how the hell . . . christmas! christmas eve last year )
RENT was last week! I wasn’t nervous. I’m happiest when performing.
It’s weird though, I’m not a musical kid.
As a rule, I usually dislike musicals. I find people who sing them in public annoying, and before RENT I’ve never been in one.
As you have probably noticed in your everyday life,
most people don’t have a whole ton of singing talent, which is why they have to get real jobs.
So I think we can all agree that musicals are a bad thing that ought to be prohibited except in special circumstances,
such as when I personally wish to sing.
Even though we practiced for about 15 hours a week, a part of me misses it.
There are so many cast members that I have undying love for.
During the last song of our last show, I actually started crying.
Not pretty cry, ugly cry. The entire cast was crying as we sang, ‘I’d die without you; No day but today.’
We got a standing ovation at every show.
In short, it’s a relief to be done but I miss the people I spent so much time with.
the curtains have closed,
the audience have gone,
it is time to move on.
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| whatever, i'm getting cheese fries. |
Friday
November 27th, 2009 at 1:09pm |
http://cgi.4chan.org/ic/res/528702.html
This was posted to me anonymously this morning.
I did not make this post. Someone is asking for criticism of my works, posing as me.
Honestly, what they say doesn't bother me, so much as someone pretending to be me.
I would like to stress again, that is NOT. ME.
It doesn't bother me that that post exists, because I don't pay any attention to 4chan.
Most of their critique I'm already aware of. I know the mistakes I've made in paintings.
But I do not appreciate someone asking for critique UNDER MY NAME.
Many of you have been posted to 4chan before. What did you do? How do you solve this problem?
If you belong to 4chan, can you please explain to these people that while critique does not bother me, the OP is not in fact me?
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Friday
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:00pm |
dancing without sight,
your other senses are heightened.
detecting distant movement and reacting before impact,
that is a tango in the dark .
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Friday
September 25th, 2009 at 2:31pm |
( you walked into the room and assumed that the whole world spins for you )
They say summer love is fleeting .
But sometimes what starts as a fling , can lead to the real thing .
A simple trip to the beach can be all it takes to clear our heads and open our hearts ,
and write a new ending to an old story . There are those who got burned by the heat . They just want to forget and start over .
While there are others who want each moment to last forever .
But everyone can agree on one thing - tans fade , highlights go dark , and we all get sick of getting sand in our shoes.
I hope that these happy, peaceful days continue .
That’s truly what I’ll always want .
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| pick apart the pieces of your heart and let me peer inside |
Sunday
September 6th, 2009 at 10:28am |
( let me occupy your mind as you do mine )
On September 1st I started my fifth year of highschool . It's a little strange being back, especially after not being at school for so long [I was working on courses via correspondence last year due to my illness].
I'm feeling very positive about it , despite having to fight with vice principals and guidance counsellors to get the classes I need .
I'm doing my best to be productive and do well at school .
I really want to be successful . One of my biggest fears is not reaching my dreams , not by lack of ability but by lack of drive .
RENT rehearsals are getting so intense ! 11 weeks until the show .
We practice twice a week for five hours !
It should be fun , but between work and school and RENT my sleeping schedule is depleting quickly .
Things are actually pretty great for me right now .
Captain and I had a date last night , and it was really lovely .
And in October we have tickets to go see Brent Butt do standup , which should be amazing ! ♥
Also , in the next few weeks I should have many new arts to show you .
I'm working on a piece for an art opening called 'Beauty Interpreted' , as well as having art class again !
Deadlines are a very good thing for me , if I didn't have them I would finish nothing .
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